101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think (Brianna Wiest, 2016)

You feel content because routine consistently reaffirms a decision you already made.
As your body self-regulates, routine becomes the pathway to "flow".
When you don't settle into routine, you teach yourself that "fear" is an indicator that you are doing the wrong thing.

The do not try to elicit a trong emotional response from anyone they are holding a conversation with.
They do not speak in definitives about people, politics, or ideas.
They don't immediately deny criticism, or have such a strong emotional reaction to it that they become unapproachable or unchangeable.
They do not confuse their opinion of someone for being a fact about them.
They never overgeneralise other people through their behaviours.
They speak with precision.
They know how to practice healthy disassociation.
They do not try to inform people of their ignorance.
They validate other people's feelings.
They recognise that their "shadow selves" are the traits, behaviours, and patterns that aggravate them about others.
They do not argue with people who only want to win, not learn.
They listen to hear, not repsond.
They do not post anyting online they would be embarrassed to show a parent, explain to a child, or have an employer find.
They do not consider themselves a judge or what's true.
They don't "poison the well", or fall for ad hominem fallacy to disprove a point.
Their primary relationship is to themselves, and they work on it tirelessly.

Fire can burn your house down, or it can cook you dinner each night and keep you warm in the winter. Your mind is the same way.
Arguing with people whose intentions are not to understand you, only to prove themselves right.
More important to learn how to disassociate with negative thoughts than ignoring it.

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